oh i love the ask at the end of this and how it connects to everything else you wrote. love that flow. i don't know if i could have gotten my brain to commit to reading this if we hadn't just spoken for an hour, but because we had, i could hear your voice reading this to me as i went, which made it a hell of a lot easier. also, you asked me to tell you what i thought, and i'm really good at fulfilling upon asks. i'm so glad you asked because this was very rich. i like stream of consciousness writing, it's how i write as well and it feels very alive to me.
here is everything i wrote down, minus the thing "i restacked" because it was too good not to:
“I fall off the wagon, and only remember that I need to do it when it’s high time, when I’m in the red.” I was just talking to my coach about this same tendency in me, only specifically about how it takes things getting BAD for me to get honest about what I want and/or need. But mostly want.
“bus window perspective on january sun breaking thru fat cloud wall” this as a photo caption unlocked something in my brain? Like it’s so specific and clearly from the inside of your head, not like… something you fabricated to DESCRIBE what’s inside your brain about the photo
“To create artifacts from the now?” YES YES YES this is so helpful, this is all we’re ever really doing, yeah?
“If I did it more, if I wanted more from it, it would start wanting more from me, and my content and I would become identified.” Omg this hit me so hard as someone who created so much content and it wanted so much from me that I have been burnt out from that relationship for years “The need for money shall be love for money. And together they shall be scaffolding for love itself.” Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
“This is my best shot at a new gameplay loop emerging: I’m “someone who” Does Great Work. Or just, I Do Great Work. Or, I’m here to Do Great Work. I Love Doing Great Work. I wish to Do Great Work.” I love all of these options for you and they make sense to me as a label for you “When I don’t practice, this process reverts. I forget what I do well. I forget who I am and who I can be. I get distracted, other identities become stronger. I visit the place of work less. Doing Great Work becomes optional. I’m not doing it, therefore I don’t need to do it.” Oh my god this hit me so hard. In a good way. I feel like I re-learn this 4 times a year or something.
also, btw, i am hungover today and expected to be low energy when i spoke to you, but talking to you increased my energy. and then i thought "I can't read this because i'm too hungover" but it turns out that was't true either! :)
yoooo michelle thank you for this exorbitant reply!!! :D
inspired by you my publishing goal for this week is fulilled by recording and publishing a voiceover for this piece. I just did that. so know I AM reading it out to you : )
thank you for relating so hard, you know how it is, the budding creator and writer in me needs this kind of resonance. thank you so much <3
Great Read. Thank for the sharings. Can Identity be fundamentally a structure of beliefs which strongly feels good in a lot of circumstances? P.s I am playing ghost of tsushima
I would say identity is a structure of beliefs, yes. I would say, "validated beliefs".
Beliefs, imo, can be pretty easily changed, more easily than values let's say. But a belief that's inside of you, without external validation is only a half-being. It needs to be tested to be felt as true, and to become part of your identity.
I'm not sure if "feels good in a lot of circumstances" is a good marker. It sounds like it implies "doesn't feel bad in most circumstances".
I would try to mark this around "is useful" or "is adaptable" for many circumstances. Imo it doesn't have to feel good, but it best be useful.
As in, if your identity is "not useful" and "feels bad" in most circumstances then it would be wise to cut off some existing beliefs and load up and validate some new ones.
Yep I get you, identify feels like really strong set of beliefs. For me I choose to identify with beliefs which only feels good to me. Useful-ness is subjective hence the word useful is also a product of certain strong beliefs I think. Just gives me a lot of control over my emotional life. Rest of it made sense. Thanks
cool! and also enjoy GoT!!! I've never played it but I heard it's amazing : ) I'm currently not gaming much but I've been watching some Timberborn let's plays and I felt a slight itch to play some Dorfromantik. I'm on a pretty laid back retreat in the next 2 weeks so let's see if gaming will be part of it.
oh i love the ask at the end of this and how it connects to everything else you wrote. love that flow. i don't know if i could have gotten my brain to commit to reading this if we hadn't just spoken for an hour, but because we had, i could hear your voice reading this to me as i went, which made it a hell of a lot easier. also, you asked me to tell you what i thought, and i'm really good at fulfilling upon asks. i'm so glad you asked because this was very rich. i like stream of consciousness writing, it's how i write as well and it feels very alive to me.
here is everything i wrote down, minus the thing "i restacked" because it was too good not to:
“I fall off the wagon, and only remember that I need to do it when it’s high time, when I’m in the red.” I was just talking to my coach about this same tendency in me, only specifically about how it takes things getting BAD for me to get honest about what I want and/or need. But mostly want.
“bus window perspective on january sun breaking thru fat cloud wall” this as a photo caption unlocked something in my brain? Like it’s so specific and clearly from the inside of your head, not like… something you fabricated to DESCRIBE what’s inside your brain about the photo
“To create artifacts from the now?” YES YES YES this is so helpful, this is all we’re ever really doing, yeah?
“If I did it more, if I wanted more from it, it would start wanting more from me, and my content and I would become identified.” Omg this hit me so hard as someone who created so much content and it wanted so much from me that I have been burnt out from that relationship for years “The need for money shall be love for money. And together they shall be scaffolding for love itself.” Ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
“This is my best shot at a new gameplay loop emerging: I’m “someone who” Does Great Work. Or just, I Do Great Work. Or, I’m here to Do Great Work. I Love Doing Great Work. I wish to Do Great Work.” I love all of these options for you and they make sense to me as a label for you “When I don’t practice, this process reverts. I forget what I do well. I forget who I am and who I can be. I get distracted, other identities become stronger. I visit the place of work less. Doing Great Work becomes optional. I’m not doing it, therefore I don’t need to do it.” Oh my god this hit me so hard. In a good way. I feel like I re-learn this 4 times a year or something.
also, btw, i am hungover today and expected to be low energy when i spoke to you, but talking to you increased my energy. and then i thought "I can't read this because i'm too hungover" but it turns out that was't true either! :)
yoooo michelle thank you for this exorbitant reply!!! :D
inspired by you my publishing goal for this week is fulilled by recording and publishing a voiceover for this piece. I just did that. so know I AM reading it out to you : )
thank you for relating so hard, you know how it is, the budding creator and writer in me needs this kind of resonance. thank you so much <3
love you and catch u soon
s
Great Read. Thank for the sharings. Can Identity be fundamentally a structure of beliefs which strongly feels good in a lot of circumstances? P.s I am playing ghost of tsushima
can identity fundamentally be
a structure of beliefs
which strongly feels good
in a lot of circumstances?
I would say identity is a structure of beliefs, yes. I would say, "validated beliefs".
Beliefs, imo, can be pretty easily changed, more easily than values let's say. But a belief that's inside of you, without external validation is only a half-being. It needs to be tested to be felt as true, and to become part of your identity.
I'm not sure if "feels good in a lot of circumstances" is a good marker. It sounds like it implies "doesn't feel bad in most circumstances".
I would try to mark this around "is useful" or "is adaptable" for many circumstances. Imo it doesn't have to feel good, but it best be useful.
As in, if your identity is "not useful" and "feels bad" in most circumstances then it would be wise to cut off some existing beliefs and load up and validate some new ones.
Does that make sense?
Yep I get you, identify feels like really strong set of beliefs. For me I choose to identify with beliefs which only feels good to me. Useful-ness is subjective hence the word useful is also a product of certain strong beliefs I think. Just gives me a lot of control over my emotional life. Rest of it made sense. Thanks
cool! and also enjoy GoT!!! I've never played it but I heard it's amazing : ) I'm currently not gaming much but I've been watching some Timberborn let's plays and I felt a slight itch to play some Dorfromantik. I'm on a pretty laid back retreat in the next 2 weeks so let's see if gaming will be part of it.