the summer will carry us
letters from the now #11
hello friends,
Sitting in my usual writing spot, today with
. We just compared our paying substack subscribers. I proudly showed her that I have 1 (one). To my utter disbelief, she has 2 (two). I was outraged. I must compete now. If you’re reading this, please urgently subscribe to this Substack, ideally as a paying subscriber. Thank you.In other personal news, brother
interviewed me for his podcast “Limbo”. I thought this was an absolutely excellent and very flattering interview, and I said as much in the recording. João went deep into the archives, even dug up my old posts on Medium, which showed me that I have a body of work, and I’ve been on to something for a while now! So the first third of the show is a pretty good lore drop, the middle part is João lecturing me on creating serious offerings instead of just dilly-dallying (because I asked for it), and the last third is us discussing The Village. Hope you enjoy this!through portal of commitment
Today I feel like I’m in a calm before a rather nice storm. Tomorrow I’m moving into a new co working space. I feel like I’m sort of undramatically going through a portal of commitment that I’ve been setting up during April.
It’s a funny redux from last year. It went very similarly. I was mucking around from January till April and by May I was situated in a co working space (not the one I’m going into now). From May to September I worked — I set up TREEWEEK, closed one client and went through a consulting track with them. I also helped out a bit with the administration of the co working space.
I wasn’t exactly focused, looking back at it, but honestly, I’ve done the best work of my post sabbatical life there, in just under half a year.
This year, I feel a bit different. A bit more serious. There are less options. There is a clearer path. There is a culmination of intention. There is a straighter line.
As we say in German, “alles neu, macht der Mai”. That means “May renews everything” in a slightly more poetic cadence.
(Another great saying is “Mairegen macht schön”, which means “may rain makes beautiful”, which is true (and beautiful).)
alles neu, macht der mai
When I talk about a portal of commitment I’m having interesting visuals on my mind. There are lines converging in this central point of meaning and intention. As you could read in last week’s post, some old story strands in my life are finding a sense of good order, or right relationship. Understanding with my mom, support with my dad, and discipline with myself.
The way I often do things, is to really figure something out before I engage in it. I feel like I went through a MASSIVE arc on “what is love?” before I met my girlfriend.
I remember starting to play Starcraft 2 in Spring of 2010, but I sucked and got placed in copper league (the lowest), so I watched tutorials and classes on the game all summer, but I didn’t play. When I got back to the game in early autumn I got immediately ranked in diamond league (the highest at the time). I don’t know what this is exactly, but my passive learning abilities are pretty immense, I think.
This series, letters from the now, emerging in this year of 2025, has mostly been about me trying to fulfill my mission of finding and setting up the work that feeds me and that I’m meant to do. This is rife with trial, tribulation, error and disappointment. But I feel like I’m paying the debt of not REALLY trying in the last 5 years.
But what I did in the last 5 years was the equivalent of watching tutorials. Asking myself questions of “what is work?” and “what is money?” and trying to grasp things from the first and most foremost principles I could find.
In classic ADHD fashion, and by Parkinson’s law, things take the time you give them, and when you declare the last minute and state that time is running out, that’s when things really happen. Spring of 2025 was a big “last moment” for me and I’ve been really earnestly trying to make it count for the first time.
Could I have done this earlier? Maybe, but I’m glad I didn’t. I feel in lockstep with time. I’m out of money so I need to ask my dad for help, and that’s the right thing. I’m out of willingness to compromise on my relationship with my mom, so we’re setting it right, and that’s the right thing. I’m out of time to set my business up with a co-founder so I’ll trust my own discipline, and that’s very much the right thing.
Energetically, right around now is the beginning of Summer. In six weeks there will be the longest day of the year, already. I love this moment in time: Spring has done her work and created new life. The initial growth stage of the year is complete. All the trees have their leaves. It’s now on them and Summer to cause the maturation of fruits and forms.
As humans we sense this lush renewal and say, “alles neu, macht der Mai”.
It’s a good time to trust ourselves. It’s a great time for a courage.
It’s fine to make promises now. The summer will carry us.
Sending you love and many blessings
Simon
PS: check out this bad boy:
I'm enjoying your writing and your openness here :) I resonate with this phase you're describing, I think I'm in a similar spot when it comes to some areas of external life. I'm also checking out things for a long time before then integrating them efficiently into how I live. Keep up the good work!