hello friends,
I’m currently in Lodz, Poland, celebrating a last dance here with my girlfriend before she joins me in Berlin. We fell in love in the tension field between Lodz and Berlin and I’m not sure if I fell in love with the city, but I certainly like it, and it’s good to say goodbye to it for now. Julia has a more difficult goodbye, she spent a good chunk of her life here. Today we’re having a bit of a goodbye party, selling off some clothes and hittin the streets. It should be a fun one.
The other day I opened up my little magic coaching shop again. I’m open for bookings for (life) coaching and I Ching divinations.
Twitter thread here.
Book a session or an intro call here.
More details about my approach here.
If you want to support my work (and gain from it), feel free to book a session. You could also subscribe to my Substack, for free or as a paying subscriber.
On the musical front, I’ve dug out an old classic today. Still Life is maybe my favorite Opeth album, a more low key pick from their great catalogue I think. Some great grooves and leads in here, and I do love a good concept album.
seeds and harvest
Next week I will be in south west Germany to do some work with my youngest brother. I lamented this elongated trip, because it feels like it pulls me away from work. At the same time it also is the work. This is quite hard knowledge to internalize for me. I feel like I’m running in circles around this. I always wanted to work through life, and live through work, and have everything go hand in hand. I’m getting the chances here and I need to learn to harvest them.
Just like these Letters from the Now are essentially me harvesting whatever is right here on my frontal lobe into nicely written posts, I want my next trick to be me harvesting the generational healing work I’m called to do nonstop in my own life, and to pass that on somehow. It’s something that is hard to formalize and seems dangerous to generalize. But isn’t it some sort of ultimate goal to be able to say, “I’m doing the best I can perceive for my little siblings and it’s working for them” or “After years of difficulties, I found a good way of being in relationship with my mom”?
Just a random question, out of curiosity, would you engage in a sort of coaching or education offering that aims at setting your family relations right? Poll here.
I don’t exactly know how to do this yet, but I’m thinking about writing and teaching in some sort of way. It’s also nicely downstream from my mediation practice. Mediation is, effectively, working on relationships. On that cool middle part. It is about the people involved, but it works best when the magic middle where the relationship sits is brought into active consideration. The individuals involved can then more easily inhabit archetypal figures, and the confusing infinity of subjectivity then turns into a objectively winnable game.
We will see. I feel like I’m quite in my head today, the unusual writing spot I’m sitting at doesn’t help. I think I’ll keep this one short. I feel like this is already quite a good spell to cast. As I’m pulling writing from the “now” I also want to pull work and magic from the strands of life I’m being asked to live anyway.
Instead of being alone with my life and healing experience, I could really actively begin to share it. It doesn’t feel easy and there doesn’t seem to be a good playbook (but please let me know if there is one), but earnestly trying might get us there.
Instead of seeing these side quests as distractions, I could see them as the main quest, which comes with the imperative of making something out of it.
kid, producer, synthesizer
I had a core transformation session with an acquaintance from Berlin, and I found out about a new part that I hadn’t met like that, and it’s “The Synthesizer”, which is a cool name to for starters.
He seems to sit in the middle of my parts and wants to help them get along. I also feel pretty identified with that part, it might be pretty close to “Self”. I don’t know these modalities incredibly well but I’m learning. Anyway, this synthesizer seems to be a driving force right now. He wants different or opposing parties in me and around me to get along. He might also bring along the impulse to mediate.
Right now there is the my “Kid” part, the one that usually runs the show at least when he wants to or needs to, who called us into the action of going to see my brother. The Kid is in conflict with a part that I haven’t had much of a look at yet, but it’s the part that wants to administrate and work and earn money and be in contact with the world. Maybe that’s “The Producer” or something like that. And the Producer thought we’d be stationary in Berlin, producing away, but no, we’re on the road, from where it isn’t that easy to produce, so he’s throwing his hands up in the air. And the Synthesizer is telling the Producer that he has no choice, cuz the Kid has already decided, and there isn’t much to do when that has happened. So the Producer has to come along, and “make something of it”.
I think that’s pretty good and fair.
What this makes me think of is that at other times, I think the Producer actually neds the Kid to come along to work. I think that’s the inner conflict that’s brewing in me. The Producer is pretty capable but he’s lacking soul, and I think he’s sometimes left alone by the Kid, who is often times seen playing alone or absentmindedly. I think that’s why I love working with friends, it brings the Kid into the room, but also makes for a pretty sensitive Simon to work with.
So, I shall ponder this question. Now that I’m determined to get my work done by myself (in contact with customers or peers of course), I need to somehow learn to invite the kid to the working table, which I guess is about making work more like play, my life long mission. That seems pretty wise.
How can I structure my work so my Kid joins me at my desk? I shall ponder this. It has something to do with people, always, but the details, I shall ponder.
Thank you for reading and I hope you are well. I wonder how this reads, I felt relatively constricted writing it. But good to bang this out anyway : )
Catch you next week!
Much love and many blessings
S
