felt vulnerable, might delete later

this is some elaborate throat clearing, read at your own risk

Hi! This is going to be a silly first post that is going to help me unclench and ventilate myself regarding my coaching business. I’m gonna cringe it out now so I don’t have to cringe so much later.

I called this business “Ohler’s Holistic Lab (for Emergence and Renewal)”, mostly because I thought it would be cool to have a recursive “O.H.L.E.R.” acronym. But I do feel like my life has been a lab for the last 15 years, and I’m always drawnig good conclusions, and I’m very good at passing them on. I haven’t been great at “writing papers” i.e. making educational posts or artifacts. I did make some YouTube videos and workshops but they don’t really slap or are particularly shareable. I wanna do more of that.

The Emergence part is about living truthfully, as per what’s in front of us.

The Renewal part is about getting rid of old assumptions and keeping things fresh.

I’m writing this post because I’m currently stuck. Writing seems to help me with that. I’m stuck when it comes to getting this biz going.

I know I’m a good coach, I want to, and must help people, it’s my calling. This whole identity layer is sorted for me. I have everything it takes.

I also know that I can build a business. I have a small business going with TREEWEEK, which is an event with a solid annual revenue, clear target audience, and when it’s TREEWEEK season I get very intense and very productive and it works very well.

I just feel like my thoughts are going in circles when it comes to the coaching biz, and while circles are beautiful and spark joy, I really need my thoughts laid out in a straight line.

I’m hereby declaring this as a real problem. So far I seem to have avoided it and pushed it to “later”, but now it’s “a lot later” and I’m fed up with it.

I also wanted this section of my blog to be really cool smart posts that show all the great stuff I know about and offer as a coach, but I guess the first post has to be me whining and getting my thoughts in order. This worked with the personal section of this Substack so I’m trying the same here. Nobody read this, this is a vulnerable maintenance matter.

Ok let me create a little plan for myself here:

• I’d like to have an overview over the problems I’ve successfully solved in my life: Those are the problems I’d like to help others with, of course, because I have very real experience.

  • It might not be bad to do this relative to years, that makes it easier to add topics or problems to the list.

  • I already wrote a rough list of those things here but it’s not easy to parse: https://simonohler.com/coaching/study-and-practice-j360L5dqwqWa

• I’d also like to have a list of posts that will follow this one — posts that are actually good and shareable, focusing on the reader and solving problems for them. I just need headings, I can write the posts later.

Quick comment — it’s so funny and weird to me that this works, I can already feel it working. I could write this in Notion but there is no perceived audience. I don’t realllly want anyone to read this but I know someone will (hello) and that actually helps me. Something something exhibitionism … I mean, why do I want to be a coach? I want to get paid for talking to people in a productive manner and raise their joy and agency in life.

And this is where I feel stuck right now. The things I feel like I have to do for my business, like creating a website and some other machinery feels self-obsessed, and that doesn’t motivate me.

Well, let me be precise. I like to self-obsess to a degree in front of others. That’s the exhibitionism. That’s also mostly with friends or in writing / in art. But I don’t like to self-obsess just with myself. That’s just boring. This is what gets me stuck in a loop. When I coach someone I have a rolling chance to compare what they’re experiencing to my experience and to see whether my experience applies or whether they’re telling me a brand new story. Both is very exciting. I care about making it exciting for the other party. The self-obsession I have with clients I like to dress up as a useful thing. “In my experience xyz, how does that resonate with you?” is what I would usually sound like.

It is completely essential to me to know how others perceive me. I think I’ve hung out enough with people who don’t have a self perception that’s well mediated between internal and external and I don’t like it much. I like it a lot when people care about the effect the have on me, and I want to to do the same for others.

Now, the interesting bit is, that for some reason I’m now realizing that in the domain of this coaching business I’m facing a lot of avoidance. I feel like I need to verbally / in writing nail down what I do and for whom and target group and blabla and I can’t stand it. I’d much rather sell someone elses services (but only if they are my friends). I’d also much rather be recognized holistically instead of making up some sort of hyper specific product for a hyper specific target group.

Alas, I can cry moar but this is not how the world works so, fine. I’ve had some very good and encouraging advice from Donald Miller who has put together a beautiful ecosystem of coaching advice around his books Coach Builder and Building a Story Brand. Very inspiring, and less daunting, when it comes to the matters of target group and productizing.

blergh

Ok so another thing I’d like to move from circular to straight line is sort of my strategy when it comes to moving towards my goal of the business. There is this MVP component to having a decent website, that I would like to get done. Because it’s connected to how I describe myself which I have trouble with, I’m a bit stuck in a loop there. We discussed. Then, there is the marketing side of it. I’m aware that I need to go as directly to customers as I can. I also know that I carry a lot of power via my presence in person and on the telephone. So, there is a clear podcast angle here. I’ve hosted multiple podcasts, partly as a paid host and also my own scene podcast that helped me get to know some people. I would now love to build a platform that is a driver for me to get to know people in the next scene I’m trying to open up for myself (Berlin Tech). I also think that podcast conversations are very similar to coaching conversations. It’s a good strategy to see if people are interested in coaching, and if they’re not, ask them what they have to teach and invite them to the podcast. It automatically sorts people I reach out to into 3 buckets: podcast, coaching, no contact for now. That’s pretty good and that’s the kind of vehicular determinism I’m looking for when I think about work.

Yes yes Simon, very well, great words, now make the lists you said you would make?

Ok ok, let’s see.

What problems have I worked on since ±2010? I claim 15 years experience, so let’s see what we’ve got.

Ok I have two more interjecting thoughts and I’ll write them out because that’s what I’m here for. When I’m out of interjecting thoughts I’ll make the damn list.

1. Obviously the whole coaching work is in favor of meaning, love and the soul. Whether you follow Julia Cameron (The Artists Way) or Rick Rubin (all good music that exists, The Creative Act), I’m on their team. I’m on team, there is a God and it lives inside you and you have to strip your conditioning away from around it and let it express itself purely. You can do that through all sorts of mundane stuff, you can keep your work in tech, it doesn’t matter, you can be a carpenter or a plumber or an accountant, you just have to stop living “the system” and start living life as a work of art, as a creative act, as a wondrous unlikely thing that is happening, in service of that greater thing that has one of its tendrils inside of you.

2. For me it is also a way to be interested in everyone. I’m (selectively) interested in everyone. From afar I’m sometimes turned off by people or whatever, but if I cross a certain threshold of closeness, I’m interested, I’m invested, I’m invigorated, I’m infatuated. I have no clue how to manage that but I would like to run through the world with an undying curiosity but sort of carry a mechanism with me that allows me to turn this into something that others enjoy or need, and that affords me a livelihood. I often thought about being a documentary film maker but I’m not interested enough in carrying a camera and editing stuff. The coaching identity is one that allows me to get close to people and to fulfill my purpose of being intimate with people and helping them. It is me being a storyteller without a pen or a camera. This is a familial archetype, here I feel like a son, like a brother, like a father, someone who has a real impact on someone else, through words, through proximity, through modeling etc. I feel like I’m seeking generational contracts. I like being deeply mutually involved. This is also the chip on my shoulder. I have a family history that’s half refugee-German and half entrenched German. I’m lacking a good generational through line from both. I’m seeking excellent relationships based on part value exchange and part loyalty.

I wish I could just go to everyone and be like, who are you, do you want to let me help you? And I think in a way I should do that more. And in a way I’m also horribly shy and want to not get hurt or rejected. Very strange mix that.

Articles I would like to write here:

• how to get along (pace and space)

• what is agency?

• how to do well as a visionary?

• everything is scaffolding for love

• treat others well and be honest with each other

• memetic leadership

• what is wisdom?

• what is natural creativity?

• building and recognizing belief and value systems

• Life Note — to do list system that makes your tasks come to life

• Calendar — learn to narrate your life into the future

• attainment vs. attunement

Ok, now let’s try again: What problems have I worked on since ±2014? I claim 10 years experience, so let’s see what we’ve got. I’ve coached myself and my friends a lot constantly and successfully.

Note after starting this: It doesn’t seem to work well.

Note after somewhat completing this: It’s alright.

2015:

• doing good work for Twitch in London

• influenced by “How to win friends and influence people” running a very successful partnerships program

2016:

• first time considering leaving dream job at Twitch

• one-shotted by The Alchemist, realizing that the wheel keeps turning, money isn’t everything, new adventures must be smithed

2017:

• extremely chaotic year, made some big private mistakes, paid dearly

• discussed quitting at Twitch, result is that I’m enabled to move to Berlin from London

• first hire, it’s great to have a protege and becoming a manager

2018:

• moved to Berlin & left job at Twitch anyway, deciding on an unscheduled sabbatical

• before quitting, managed to appropriately manage succession for my role (hired an all-star team and did solid handovers)

• started working on my new home, both city scope and apartment scope

2019:

• worked on living without a job, this is both enjoyable (nobody’s telling you shit) and horrifying (nobody’s telling you shit)

• recovering from burnout

• tried to decode my purpose and the meaning of my life

• worked on lowering coercion aka. personal wu wei (not forcing)

• worked on posture and body (physiotherapy and tai chi)

• read the tao te ching and introuced taoism to my life

• worked on unlocking creativity via the artist’s way

2020:

• wrote outline for memoir

• bunch of very difficult relationships stuff but learned a lot

• started podcasting and presenting professionally for a client

2021:

• found tpot scene (cutting edge philosophy and healing scene on Twitter)

• developed creative partnership practices

• created Purpose of Gaming brand, created documentary blueprint and podcast

• created Spiritual Mischief brand

• deep study of the I Ching

• cultivated understanding of “natural creativity”

• worked as a presenter and host

• helped founder client w/ severe burnout and a string of business and private problems

2022:

• created The Village model

• teaching online series “Living Well and Thinking Big”

• teaching online series “Life and Work in the Rhythm of the Seasons”

• reparented my younger brother by living together

• worked on unrepressed anger flow and authentic speech

• joined medley residency

• officiated my friend’s wedding, best man for another

• film documentary movie for a founder client

2023:

• created GTD / bullet journal mix to do list system, let’s call it the Life Note — this fixes most of my procrastination and cognitive overload

• fell in love with Julia

• worked on fitness and nutrition system, results unshakeable gym and food routine

• declare the 5 year sabbatical complete

2024:

• created TREEWEEK, a 7 day retreat / festival

• worked with founder clients on restructuring their biz

• some other stuff but I’m over this

Ok! This is a horrible throat clearing post but to be honest with myself I’m gonna poast it and I might delete later.

If you want some coaching, let me know. While I was doing this I also wrote a draft for my website, which is why I’m actually here — I need to complete my website. Here is that draft:

Simon Ohler

leadership coach, life coach

there’s always this one problem you know you need to get to at some point. bring it to me and we’ll solve it.

call me

i’m a holistic coach working in the domains of your career, your body, your soul and your family. working with sensitive high performers who don’t enjoy conventional methods. Specializing in visionaries, leaders, creators and artists. autist & adhd friendly. big fan of hard to pin down problems.

I will help you

• make your communication crystal clear, no more misunderstandings

• mediate interpersonal conflicts

• identify your unique purpose & bring meaning to your life

• create time management that protects your most valuable resource

• allow your productivity and creativity to flow easefully

• get or stay in shape and eat well

• bring love into your home life

• stay steady

• have fun

call me if you want to know more

I cultivate an extensive network of coaches who I hire in for specific domains.

Listen to the wisdom workers podcast.

Join the wisdom workers community in Berlin.

Read my blog for stories and knowledge.

We live in a wealthy time. Money is easy. True wealth is having time, love, and the persistent feeling that Life Is Good, and that We Have Enough. I have achieved this state in my life, and I know how to pass this on. I believe life gets better for everyone if wisdom is passed on at an increased rate.

Knowledge is cheap, wisdom is rare. Make your life count.

The throat clearing will continue until avoidance improves. If you liked anything in thist post, please let me know, I need some clarity.

Ok thank you and goodbye and much love

Simon